“Fun” News

Welcome to The Cutthroat Underground’s “Fun” page. Here one will find weekly horoscopes, student “memes,” and fun news!

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Weekly Horoscopes

Paris Pratt ’20 & Cate Seay ’20

Aries, March 21st-April 19th

Rams, you are in absolutely no position to make any spur-of-the-moment decisions in your life. Your worlds of romance and finance are hanging in the balance. Luckily, Mercury is winding down its retrograde, so unluckily, you won’t be able to blame your many life problems on it anymore. However, with mercury sliding through Scorpio and into your eighth house of bonding, this is a good time for you to dip your toes into the social pool. Get out there but don’t get back with that shady ex you’ve had on your mind.

Taurus, April 20th-May 20th

Read the fine print, Bulls. Mercury may be ending its retrograde but you’re not in the clear yet. Lawyer up. Leave no stone unturned. Two heads are better than one. There’s no such thing as a free lunch. Whatever, I don’t really know anyways; I’m really just making this stuff up as I go. But for realsies, watch yo back. You might get #punked.

Gemini, May 21st-June 20th

While the holiday season may bring a bountiful array of parties and opportunities for socialization, remember to prioritize cleaning, organizing, and all that crap no one really likes to do. Even that one person everyone knows who is all like, “omg I love cleaning.” They really don’t. You have to do that stuff, though. Your life could use a little TLC, don’t you think?

Cancer, June 21st-July 22nd

For the love of God, Cancer, please stop talking about yourself. No one really cares about your new Patagucci or your formal dress, ok? Even though Mercury moves through Scorpio and lights up your flamboyant fifth house, you should try to keep all those selfies off your ‘Gram and tucked safely away in your camera roll so you can decide later if they’re really as good as you think they are.

Leo, July 23rd-August 22nd

I was doing some research on you guys this week and one website said that “you’re equal parts butterfly and person.” I have literally zero idea what that means but you should run with it! Spread those wings that you’ve had tucked away in your cocoon for so long. As for the “person” side of you, I really don’t know. Maybe go put gas in your car or pay some taxes or something.

Virgo, August 23rd-September 22nd

Please don’t say anything stupid, Virgos. Mercury is moving from its retrograde but it is still influencing your third house of communication. This basically means that you should watch your big mouth. Your words are more powerful than you think and you could end up starting a rumor from what you thought was just a harmless comment. Although it might be hard for you right now, don’t turn into Community School’s own little Gossip Girl. XOXO.

Libra, September 23rd-October 23rd

This is the week for you to buy those Gucci slides you may or may not have been wanting. Mercury, while still retrograde, moves into Scorpio and your second house of finances. Count your coins and go spend them. You deserve every cent you’ve earned. Go get back those wishing coins you dropped in that fountain… What is a fountain going to do with that much money anyways? This is the time for you to indulge in the simple pleasures of life.

Scorpio, October 23rd-November 22nd

You guys are kinda screwed this week. Because Mercury is still retrograde as it moves into your sign, you are extra susceptible to its signal scrambling effects. Maybe phone in a friend to double check any life decisions you make next week. This also means that the people around you might not receive the signals you’re putting out, either. Your song of the week should be Please Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood by Nina Simone.

Sagittarius, November 22nd-December 22nd

Nothing has really felt real since everyone said the world was going to end in 2012. This feeling is going to be emphasized for you next week. Try to ground yourself and not coast through the week like some weird ghost. Not like the scary kind of ghost but also not like the overly friendly kind of ghost, either. You’ll be tempted to be like some sad wandering ghost that doesn’t really haunt anything and just kinda stands there. Don’t do that.

Capricorn, December 22nd-January 20th

This week, Mercury is acting as your social director. Your eleventh house of community is just poppin’ this week. Get your posse out on Broadway and go start a fire or something. But not an actual fire, I’m picturing some metaphorical fire of friendship. There’s no time like the present to live your best life with the people who matter the most to you and everyone knows that Christmas (or Chanukah) is all about the presents.

Aquarius, January 20th-February 18th

Stars are telling me to tell y’all that it’s time for you to think about what’s next. Mercury is lighting up your career driven tenth house. Are you moving too fast? Do you need to grow a pair and just commit to something? Either way, now is the perfect time for you to be thinking about what happens next in your life. Remember, only one person has the power to decide your life, and it’s not me, it’s you.

Pisces, February 18th-March 20th

Hey, Urkle! Yes, you did do that. Your self-censorship is not great this week and you should pay close attention to what you say and the impact it may have on other people. Even if you think that someone really deserves to know every single one of their character flaws, maybe rein it back a little bit. This week, your words have the potential to turn people against each other. Please don’t start WWIII, our president probably already has that covered.

Embassy Pajama Party

Laine Allison ’20

Photo Courtesy of BBC. This picture was included in the invitation email for the “cat pajama party.”

Photo Courtesy of BBC. This picture was included in the invitation email for the “cat pajama party.”

The US Embassy in Australia issued an apology on October 14, 2018 for sending out an invitation for a “cat pajama-jam” party. The invitation featured a cat dressed in a cookie monster costume holding a plate of cookies, equipped with a section of Latin and an RSVP button. Gavin Sundwall, the public affairs counselor at the U.S. Mission to Australia, blamed the invitation on a ‘training error’, claiming that a new staff member had been testing out their email newsletter platform. The world quickly took to Twitter, expressing their amusement and requesting an actual event. However, Sundwall promptly sent out an apology email, conceding that cat pajama parties weren’t exactly their area of expertise.

Weekly Memes

Naia Drougas ‘19, Rosa Schaffner ‘20

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Weekly Horoscopes

Paris Pratt ’20

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Aries, March 21st-April 19th

Rams, things in your life are about to get real spooky real fast. The Sun moves into spicy Scorpio for its four-week annual tour. Things are going to happen to you that you may want to keep locked up. This privacy policy might not last too long because you do love a little gossip now and then. Tensions are high and secrets aren’t going to be kept... Good going, chief.

Taurus, April 20th-May 20th

Cuffing vibes are hitting you single Bulls hard this season. Don’t jump in too quickly, though, with Jupiter moving alongside the Sun and Venus being retrograde, your judgement could be skewed when it comes to handing people the spare key to your inner circle. However, your bonds with your current number ones has never been stronger. This week has the year’s only full moon in Taurus which means you have all the power in the world to do whatever you want. Go start a band or something.

Gemini, May 21st-June 20th

Halloween is your time to shine, you sneaky Geminis. Get your bedazzler loaded because, when the Sun moves into Scorpio and lights up your sixth house of creativity, you might be be inspired to create some Leonardo Da Vinci level masterpieces. Pinterest boards, IKEA hacks, and those weirdly complicated DIY videos on Instagram are all calling your name.

Cancer, June 21st-July 22nd

If you’re trying to fly under the radar this week, that sucks because it’s not going to happen for you. Jupiter and the Sun have aligned to provide you a one of a kind personal PR campaign. Use this spotlight to your advantage! Jump on that idea you’ve been wrestling with. You won’t have to work to get people on board, just speak from the heart and the stars will do the rest.

Leo, July 23rd-August 22nd

Listen, lions, you may not be all that cool but your friends don’t know that. This week, all the people closest to you are really looking up to you for some reason, don’t ask me why. This would be the perfect time for you to take charge of planning a group event or play hostess for the night. As long as you don’t trash your whole life, go all out! This “go get it” energy that you have this week will empower you to do anything.

Virgo, August 23rd-September 22nd

As the Sun slides into Scorpio and illuminates your articulate third house, it may be a good time to kick off your career as a social media influencer, whatever that is. This is the week for all those twitter one liners that have been festering in your brain to be unleashed into the world. Let your words have the far reaching impact they are destined to have. The biggest thing for you to remember is that you’re more than a viral meme machine, you are a human with emotions. But other than that, let your online presence run wild! Carpe DM, Virgos.

Libra, September 23rd-October 23rd

If you’ve been feeling the need for some serious party time, this is your week. Your social calendar has the potential to go off. This week, Mercury moves into Sagittarius and gets your community-spirited third house bumping. Get in touch with your social-butterfly side and start planning ahead. Your schedule will fill up quickly so make sure to strategize your hangouts. Since, unfortunately, you can’t make it to everything you get invited to, prioritize yourself and do what makes you stoked. No more “obligatory hangs.”

Scorpio, October 23rd-November 22nd

When Mercury moves into Scorpio, you really start to feel the hustle. Your house of money and work are highlighted for the next couple weeks and this should inspire you to go get that bread. You could be rolling in all sorts of dough this week if you put your mind to it. Just because the stars have aligned for you in the hustle and grind department, doesn’t mean you should go taking risks or anything. Work with what you know and are confident in and you’ll be flexin on all those haters.

Sagittarius, November 22nd-December 22nd

Ok Sags, it’s time to crawl out of whatever rock you’ve been hiding under. Mercury is making its annual appearance in your sign and you should embrace it. If you have been flying under the radar for a little bit, take this time to step outside your box and get involved in your outer circles. People you may not be exceptionally close with could surprise you. Just like ABBA said, take a chance.

Capricorn, December 22nd-January 20th

Slow down. Please. For the love of God. Rushing through things has never been a strong characteristic of your sign. Take a moment to smell the roses or whatever. Take some time to appreciate the space you’re in. You’ve been so involved in staying on that grind and, with the end of the term coming just around the corner, you may feel the need to just put your head down and work. Remember that everything works out the best to put 100% effort into things.

Aquarius, January 20th-February 18th

You’ll feel more in your element this week. Towards the end of this week, Mercury moves into Sagittarius and lights up your eleventh house of teamwork and social activism. You will find yourself in a flow state within your friend group and everything will be moving smoothly. Relax. Everything is smooth sailing for your social life. While you have at least some stability in your life, take some time to try some new activities. Underwater basket weaving might be a good place to start.

Pisces, February 18th-March 20th

As 2018 starts coming to a close, this is the time to mix and mingle. Your tenth house of ambition is what is driving your decisions this week. Take on a challenge and work to expand your network. Make connections for yourself instead of relying on other people. This is your time to channel your inner Rihanna and work. If something isn’t looking like it’s going to happen, take matters into your own hands. Don’t let Jesus take the wheel, that wheel is all yours.


Weekly Memes

Naia Drougas ‘19, Rosa Schaffner ‘20

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Weekly Horoscopes

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By Cate Seay ’20 and Paris Pratt ’20

Aries, March 21st-April 19th

Rams, with Venus retrograde lighting up your house of intense emotions, it might be a good time for you to start addressing any current emotional crises. Let go of grudges, accept karma, and learn from your mistakes. Remember, you always have the choice to either wallow in self pity or look on the bright side of things and move forward. The sooner you get yourself together, the sooner you get to experience all the new potential relationships and experiences that are waiting for you.

Taurus, April 20th-May 20th

Taurus, Mercury and your ruler Venus have aligned in Scorpio in your relationship house which could make for an exciting week for you. Test those waters! This week, all types of relationships have the potential to skyrocket. Live it up, sister. Although people are attracted to you like a moth to a lamp, don’t forget to to pace yourself and not rush into things. But this is the perfect time to try new things and get out of your comfort zone. Whether that means making new friends, going ham on that right-swipe, or switching up your routine, this week is yours for the taking.

Gemini, May 21st-June 20th

Get out your face masks Gems, because Mercury and Venus pair up and highlight your sixth house of self-care and wellness. Make some time to Zen yourself out and align your chakras or whatever. I don’t know. But you really should take some “me time” and treat yo self. Do whatever little dance it is that makes you happy and connects you to Mother Earth. Don’t make any drastic changes and move to Malaysia in search of the meaning of life or anything but a few little changes to your routine could be useful in creating the happiest version of yourself. Smell those roses, dude.

Cancer, June 21st-July 22nd

This week, flirty Venus teams up with impulsive Mercury in your fifth house of passion. Although this may seem promising, it’s not. You will be tempted to splurge a little too much or dive headfirst into things that shouldn’t be dived into… like fountains or even a deceptively shallow pool. However, with the right budget and supervision, this week has the potential to end up being somewhat productive. Hey, a little “retail therapy” never hurt anyone but don’t forget to check those price tags. Lastly, although it’s tempting, you can’t blame all your problems on Venus retrograde.

Leo, July 23rd-August 22nd

Lions, this is the week to wave the white flag. If you’ve been looking for a sign to give up, this is it. Let that grudge go. If you’ve been butting heads with a roommate, relative, or friend, practical Mercury and fair Venus can help you see things from another, maybe more peaceful, perspective. This week is when you should seek to end conflict in your life. Remember, don’t suppress your emotions or grievances. Talk to people and work out compromises. The more vocal you are about your feelings, the easier it will be to let things go.

Virgo, August 23rd-September 22nd

Your third house of friends is going off this week since outgoing Mercury and social Venus happen to sync up. Don’t take your friends for granted. This would be a good week for you to strengthen your ties with your immediate support system. This would also be the perfect time to reach out to someone you admire or have been wanting to hang out with. Plan a girls or guys night out, eat lunch with someone new, slide into those DMs, the stars have literally aligned for you, Virgo. Prioritize potential relationships just as much as you prioritize existing ones.

Libra, September 23rd-October 23rd

It’s your birthday Libra! Your desire for some TLC will be met as the moon turns full. If you’re upfront and personal about what you want, everything will work out. Inspirational tendencies will arrive this week, so think about doing something different whether it be a change in routine, your workspace, or even your personal room.

Scorpio, October 23rd-November 22nd

Oh god, Scorpios. You have had a rough couple of weeks but the universe has decided to give you a break. Success will come, but you have to figure out how to make the most of it. Dive into some self-care, it will work in your favor. Communication will become easier with Pluto direct; everything will become clear and that pounding headache will go away.

Sagittarius, November 22nd-December 22nd

We know all you Sags aren’t afraid to be yourself, so put yourself out there! Share your emotions and the universe promises to reward you. You’re also racking in the big bucks, as your financial and personal security will become stronger. Don’t worry about what other people think and be you!

Capricorn, December 22nd-January 20th

Remember your roots, Capricorn. As the moon turns full, you’re encouraged to keep your heart safe and confide in those you really love. Being sensitive isn’t always bad, vulnerability and emotional tendencies could work in your favor. Be sure to focus on what’s really important to you.

Aquarius, January 20th-February 18th

Go with your instincts this week, Aquarius-born. It’ll work in your favor. If you need to tell someone something, go tell them. It’s finally the opportune moment! The stars predict that you’ll be the happiest you’ve been in a while if you break free from walls of constraint.

Pisces, February 18th-March 20th

This week all you Pisces will feel more secure with your surroundings. It’s almost like the signs have given you a personal bodyguard. You’ll also feel very extroverted with Pluto moving direct. Rely on friendships and your social skills to get through this stressful time. You’ll even have the opportunity to make new friends and maybe indulge in some new romantic interests.


Weekly Memes

Naia Drougas ‘19 & Laine Allison ‘20

Are you looking for a Halloween costume ideas? Look no further! Here are some of our favorite teachers “fits” to get you inspired for the spooky season.

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Weekly Horoscopes

By Cate Seay and Paris Pratt ’20

Libra (September 23-October 22)- So, dude. Hate to break it to you, but with Venus in retrograde until November 16th, you gotta keep an eye on your life decisions, both romantic and financial. With a full moon in your relationship zone, there could be some hefty drama, but don’t overreact; if you keep it chill, a solution that pleases everyone will make itself obvious.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)- My scorpio friends, you guys are in for a rough week with work and routine. Don’t choose to place it on other people, take some “me time” and dive head first into self-care. Watch out for any rash decisions in your romantic and artistic side, they may not bode well due to Venus in retrograde.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)- Time is money, Sags. The quarter-moon in Cancer calls on your house of investments. Our advice is for you to work smarter, not harder. The stars are aligned for you this week so make sure you take advantage of it while it’s there.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)- This week you Capricorns might have some problems socially. With Venus in retrograde, your whole friendship sector might feel out of whack. Your professional lives might feel great though. Get out there and feel confident! Don’t let any higher power get in your way.

Aquarius (January 20-February 17)- To all Aquarius-born out there, you guys could have a really great or really terrible week. It’s all in your power. There might be some conflicts pertaining to your work, social life, and love life. Watch out for any unexpected twists with power figures and family.

Pisces (February 18-March 19)- You might want to consider joining the OLA this week, Pisces, because Cancer’s quarter-moon will present you with extra leadership opportunities. Steer clear of being lazy this week because the stars call for a huge reality check for those who haven’t been productive. Don’t try to sidestep conflict in relationships: communication is key.

Aries (March 20-April 18)- You’re doing great, sweetie! All the Aries out there are thriving this week. You will all have the chance to expand your horizons for some sort of redecoration or renovation in your life. Cuffing season might be interrupted for you, however. There will be some friction within your love life and other relationships.

Taurus (April 19-May 19)- Get out there Taurus! Expand your personal bubble and try something new! This week proves to be a great chance for you to move forward while still reflecting on your past. Don’t try to forget your past, embrace it and use it to grow. You may have had a little imbalance in your relationships, but this is the week it will work itself out.

Gemini (May 20-June 19)- This week, you may have the urge to spend all your money but being financially mindful will be very important. Treat yo self, but not to the point where you go broke. Try to be reflective about your relationships. Slow down and take a more measured approach to acting on your feelings.

Cancer (June 20-July 21)- Your role in your relationships, platonic and romantic, may be shifting this week. Remember to stay true to yourself and make sure your heart is fully invested in all your endeavors. Make sure to read the signs the stars are presenting to you, whether that means taking a prominent role in social situations or commencing a graceful exit. Make sure you’re really looking for the right things in the right places, like a moth to a lamp.

Leo (July 22-August 21)- Expect the unexpected this week, Leos. Make sure not to slide into your cynicism like yo girl’s DMs, because something that could peak your curiosity may present itself. Focus this week; what you put your mind to is what becomes important. Stay positive and look at the silver-linings of bad situations. Remember your past, especially the influential women who have made an imprint on you.

Virgo (August 22-September 22)- This week, the quarter-moon in Cancer is sparking your interest in community and technology. This may be the week to take creative control over your online presence and really channel those Kylie Jenner vibes and get that Gram poppin. You may find yourself feeling more secure in a previously awkward social scene. Try to remind yourself that you belong right where you are and proving yourself doesn’t need to be strenuous!